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What the heck is an astrolabe?
Archeologists found a temple complex oriented toward significant constellations and planets. They found remnants of a statue of Ba'al, a god widely venerated in the ancient Mediterranean world. At the center of the site lies a shallow pool, believed to have been used to reflect the night sky—an element which was paramount to this seafaring culture. There is a lot going on in this piece, and some of the aspects of it, such as the lay out of the temple complex, are depicted in ghostly white lines. To read more about this piece, go to my blog entry about it, HERE.
A Gift to MyselfAnd now here is MY astrolabe!
Let me be absolutely clear: I have no idea how to use this thing. I have always struggled with ciphering, numbers and complex instructions. I even have a learning disability called dyscalculia! But, the way my special mind works (remember the crazy timeline project? What about my new, old typewriter?) is that I enjoy learning most by jumping into things and messing around, sort of like a child playing in a ball pit. The Night SkyMany of my paintings include depictions of the night sky. Sometimes I look up, and I realize I know nothing about it at all. My hope is that by playing with my astrolabe, I will get a different sense of what it means to be in this world, stuck on this planet as it whirls and hurtles through infinite space. 
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As I said in my post Sketchybook 1, I tend to find sketchbooks a bit uninviting, so I have taken to making my own.
Below is a short video of me making the book. When the video begins, I have already created the two covers from black illustration board and used a hole punch to create space for a binding. I wanted to have a binding that would allow me to flip the pages completely over, instead of lying flat like a book. So, I tried to make the binding with colorful string. However... I learn by doing-- I'm making it up as I go along! I had to disassemble the book and change the binding to hinged keyrings, because the string binding was simply not working. If at first you don't succeed... try, try again! Look out for a future blog entry about this travel sketchbook after I've filled it up. Who know what will happen? I am not particularly good at creating structure for myself.  An example of a "doodle" I have been making since middle school. Though I can be quite disciplined on a daily or weekly basis, creating an overall framework for my actions is something I’m quite blind to. When I became untethered from the structure of college, I started to drift. Back then I had no conception of the difference between a desire and a goal.
This a common problem for people with ADHD. I was in my early 30’s before I even realized I wasn’t setting goals. Eventually I compared my life to those of my peers and realized I was still living like a 20 year old- having fun, but building nothing. Then I decided to “get serious” about my art career.  "Analyze" Page 7 I have explored this in a blog entry What's Next? Reflections on a Career in Art. I also made an artist book that explores this a bit more called Analyze. You can see a slideshow of it HERE. When I got serious, I started by narrowing down my subject matter and style to something I felt might be salable and distinguishable. For subject matter, my love of old vintage snapshots was the perfect choice. To develop a consistent style, I created two image boards:
By doing this, I created a structure for my artmaking.
Through this, I was able to create structure for sharing my art with the world. The upside was that I was able to convert my desires into goals, and onto achievement! Like a real grown-up! The downside was that my particular manner of creating structure robbed me of artistic freedom and expansive expression. The work was less about me, and more about my chosen subject matter. After 16 years, I have proved to myself that I have the ability to stick to something and achieve my goals. But now I want to create art that is more personally meaningful. It’s been interesting to observe myself without the intense structure of an art business. It is as if I were back in my early 20’s drifting away from the structure college provided me. Only this time, I am more experienced and self-aware. I know I run the risk of simply drifting until I am frustrated by a lack of achievement. So, I’m looking at some options that could provide me with structure and guidance, probably in the form of a formal mentorship program for artists… but not quite yet. I feel like someone who is newly single after a long relationship. I don’t want to settle down again just yet. I want to “find myself” and play the field a bit longer.  Sketchybook I, page 26 Order out of Chaos I am also seeking new influences. I took an online art course by Lorraine Glessner called Mark Making as Practice. Lorraine believes that every artist has a personal vocabulary of marks that is as unique as a signature, and that mark making daily and without objective is the way to find and develop a personal style and expression.
Paradoxically, I have a condition called dyscalculia, which is a learning disability that results in difficulty understanding numbers and mathematics. Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes.  Analyze page 4c, checkbook accordion book My Sketchybook
Armed with watercolor pencils, water soluble pens, markers, and a glue stick, I set up a place on the terrace of our Mexican vacation spot and worked a bit every day. Some of the images are abstract, and some are references to my surroundings and experience. I wrote text in some pages, mostly not. Some are lovely and sweet, a couple are sad, many are funny. I have a collection of images you can see HERE.
 Sketchybook I, page 25 My Special Purpose! This book is a work in progress, and currently I am using it as a tool to process my letting go and rebuilding structure. At the moment, I feel excited, yet overwhelmed by the many ideas I have and directions I could go.  Sketchybook I, page 27 Shall I make art about math, or my dyscalculia? How about astronomy and astrology? Compasses and navigation? I’m also fascinated by the origins of writing. Or I could get more personal and do a book about being an aging female (lots to discuss there!) Of course, there is always mythology and stories from the ancient world. Interwoven is my continued fascination with archeology- but which archeology?  Sketchybook I, page 16 I have so many ideas! Ideas that are more than ideas, they are inspirations, notions, concepts, curiosities, paths, directions, lines of inquiry, journeys, compulsions. All I know is that it is these things, these “ideas” that make life rich and meaningful for us all.  Sketchybook I, page 26 As I write this, this artist book is a work in progress! I was recently on vacation Mexico. I tend to find sketchbooks drab and uninviting, so I decided to make a sketchbook of my own. I made a lovely hardback cover for it with a cloth binding. Then I collected a variety of paper and some left over painted collage papers. I tore or cut them down to size, then folded them in half to make pages. I used elastic bands to secure them temporarily into the cover. This way I can move the pages around if I want to. Armed with watercolor pencils, water soluble pens, markers, and a glue stick, I set up a place on the terrace of our Mexican vacation spot and worked a bit every day. Some of the images are abstract, and some are references to my surroundings and experience. I wrote text in some pages, mostly not. Some are lovely and sweet, a couple are sad, many are funny. Below is a slideshow of the book. You can watch from beginning to end, or you can pause it and look at the still images by hovering your cursor over it and clicking the "pause" button that appears in the upper left corner. When I got home, I still had space in my book for more work, so I made a “Chapter Two” page, and kept going. I have no intended narrative in mind, yet I still strive to create an arch of experience while making and viewing the book. Remember- there is more to come with this one!
So cool, I had to share it here.  I have always shot and edited the photographs of my art. It was a learning curve, for sure, but over the years, I think I got pretty good at it. Adventuring into the realm of book arts has posed an entirely new learning curve!
That, plus uneven lighting and askewed angles, laced with odd shadows. You see, the books don't lay flat, so I have to hold the pages down with pokey things and edit them out later, and my arms cast shadows all over everything. I knew something had to be done. The Wonder of YouTube
 Analyze, page 9c Below is a little video of my DIY photo lightbox. If you would like to see more of my artist book Analyze, you can see it HERE.
Below is a slideshow of the book. You can watch from beginning to end, or you can pause it and look at the still images by hovering your cursor over it and clicking the "pause" button that appears in the upper left corner. Some pages in Analyze have text, either handwritten or typed on my new, old typewriter. It may be difficult to read the text in the slideshow, so under the slideshow I have provided images with the corresponding text with each. Added Bonus: if you make it to the bottom of the page, you can see a little video of the check ledger featured in Analyze in action! Still Images with Text: Page One:
Page Nine:
The prefrontal cortex has a lot to do with developing these skills, and that section of the brain is SMALLER in children with ADHD. Some people’s brains will grow as they mature, so that you can barely tell the difference at all. Girls tend to be less hyperactive than boys, and are usually just really spacy. People with ADHD also tend to have problems with social skills. They are more prone to miss social cues, verbal, and non-verbal communication from others. Hyperfocus is another trait. It is as if all that missing attention roars back to life and consumes everything in its path. This can be a great advantage when creating art, but is terrifically inconvenient at other times. Everyone who has ADHD develops different coping strategies, some productive, and others destructive. One thing is for certain: it has a dramatic effect on how a personality develops, and will shape a person’s life trajectory in profound ways. Page 11:
Many report a chronic and deep-seated sense of underachievement and intense frustration over squandered opportunities and are at a loss to explain why they cannot seem to translate their obvious assets into more positive outcomes.” Barkley, R.A. (2015). Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: A Handbook for Diagnosis and Treatment, 4th ed. New York: Guilford Publications. Pages 13 and 13a:
Page 16a
Page 17
Page 23:
Checkbook Ledger: (You made it to the end!)
It's a big, beautiful machine, weighing in at probably 30 pounds!  I recently took a new creative direction by making artist books, where I utilize collage materials and text. Rather than merely depicting typewriters, I wanted to actually TYPE stuff and integrate it into my books. So, I wrestled my Woodstock back into my car and had it repaired at Type Space, Portland’s Vintage Typewriter Shop!
Below is a video of me tussling with my new contraption. In the video, I am writing a piece about having ADHD, which I will use in my new artist book, Analyze. Curiously, the act of typing echoed what it can be like to have ADHD. The process was long and laborious, and the result is a bit messy and garbled, yet totally unique and beautiful in its own way. Typing also made me reflect on this unique moment in our history. Now our keyboards require a light touch, and with tools like spell check and AI, we can rattle off whatever pops into our head, unthinkingly. Combined with the web and social media, this can lead to oversharing, thoughtlessness, and even trolling. It made me imagine a world past when we had to be so deliberate with our communication-where everyone had to take a breath and consider each word before committing it to the page. The idea of doing an artist’s book has been rambling around in my head for… come to think of it, decades! I have made a few running starts at creating them over the years, but decided to focus on the more “practical” path of creating wall art I could more easily exhibit and sell. I even imagined that one day, when I “retired,” I would start. Well, I guess that day has come.
I have used the creation of What Is Next as a tool to help me process a new phase I am entering in my art career. (You can read more about this in my blog entry What's Next: Reflections on a Career in Art.) It has no real narrative, but loosely explores themes relating to the transitory cycle I am in right now. I used stencils, collage materials, and sketches that I’d originally developed for larger pieces in my Archeology and Art series. I had a wonderful time making some fold-out pages- something I want to expand upon in future books. Below you can see a slideshow of each page, or you can click on the thumbnails below for a still shot. In 2007, I launched upon a project.
I wanted to make something of myself. I worked hard to create a cohesive body of work in a style I felt viewers would enjoy and want to own. I built a website and learned the basics of self-marketing. I answered calls to exhibit. Eventually, I got gallery representation. My career was on an upward trajectory—better galleries, better shows, more sales, and higher prices for my work. Until…
The upshot is that the first eight years of my career was ascendant, and the second eight years have been a retraction, to the extent that, for the large part, I’m back pretty much to where I started- or at least where I was in about 2011. Maybe if I had worked harder, things it would have gone differently. Perhaps if I had made better choices here and there, I would have had a different outcome. But truthfully, probably not- at least not substantially. The Bigger Picture I knew that being an artist was hard. I just didn’t know how hard. Perhaps I was naïve.
And I have changed. I was approaching my 40th birthday when I started- now I’m 56! The man who was then simply my boyfriend is now my devoted husband. I’ve lost both of my parents. And I’ve gone through that infamous hormonal transformation that compels every woman to experience a fundamental shift in perspective. I’m unbelievably fortunate. I have love, support, fun activities, and close relationships with family and friends. In truth, I have an absolutely wonderful life- the question is: how do I want to spend it? I do know one thing: I want to keep creating.  A page from my journal. My work has gotten more personal as the years have gone by. More personal, and frankly, better. My direction may not be to everyone’s taste, but its complexity and depth has grown with experience. I am a better artist now than I was 16 years ago, and I intend to get better.
In the meantime, I’m deeply exploring what drives me to create—the "prime mover" behind my art. My hope is to eventually be fully aligned with that force.  Ba'al of Motya 30x24 Acrylic on panel ©Leslie Peterson Sapp This dreamy nocturne depicts an ancient Phoenician temple complex on the tiny island of Motya, off the coast of Sicily. Active from about 800 BCE to 400 BCE, the complex consists of several buildings and altars, surrounded by a graceful, circular boundary wall called a tememos. They are all centered around a 170 by 120-foot reflecting pool fed by underground springs, the only source of fresh water on the island. The Phoenicians The Phoenicians were a highly mobile, advanced and influential culture, which originated as a conglomeration of city states in what is now mostly Lebanon. They were the ones who invented the alphabet! With that pedigree, you'd think we'd know more about them. (To read more about the alphabet, and what makes it so special, read my blog entry about The Cup of Nestor.)
The Temple Complex
The Temple of Ba’al is oriented towards the constellation of Orion, which the Phoenicians regarded as the celestial representation of Ba’al. Adjacent to Orion is Sirius, another star important for maritime navigation.
An Odd Archeological Mistake The colony at Motya was destroyed by the Greeks in 396 BCE, and the temples fell into ruin. Fast forward to the early 1900's, and Joseph Whitaker excavated the site for the first time. Sometime over the centuries, a channel had been dug, connecting the formally sacred pool to the sea, filling it with briny water. It had been used as a dry dock and as a salt pan. Whitaker assumed the pool had always been connected to the sea, and called it a "cothon."
In 2010, Professor Lorenzo Nigro of La Sapienza Unversity of Rome started a new excavation. But what they found didn't match up with the harbor buildings they were expecting. Then things got even weirder.
 The sacred pool today, with the replica of the statue of Ba'al Repeating Themes Many of the pieces I have been doing for my series on Archeology Art have involved star constellations- in fact, the SAME constellations.
Gemini, Pleiades, Taurus, Orion, Ares.  There have been many repeating themes in this series. Stars, circles, centered and symmetrical compositions, boats, the sea, plans of ruins. But what really amazed me was when I realized this piece looks so similar to a piece I did about 25 years ago.
I believe it was called City in the Belly, though it is long gone and I cannot be sure. My inner visual impulses seem to ring true through the years. I suppose this means I'm on the right path. Ba'al of Motya ©Leslie Peterson Sapp |
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