She's Come Undone.

This past year I have been a student at The Canopy Program, a year-long mentorship program for visual arts. Though it is based in NYC, many of the classes are held virtually.

Now, as a mature person with ADHD, I knew that sitting through three hour Zoom calls was going to be a tall task. In order to pay attention, I knew I needed to do something with my hands.

One thing I have inherited are my grandmother's crochet booklets and crochet hooks.

The perfect ADHD mitigation device.

My first attempts were pretty humble. Mostly I goofed around, trying to understand how the stitches worked.

I believe that to learn something new, you must revel in being bad at it. Not just tolerate being bad at it, but actually enjoy being bad at it. 

Slowly, I improved — and if I may say so, I’ve gotten pretty good.

As I learned, I began to understand how the patterns were constructed.

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While busying myself with this, my art-brain was busy pondering how humans are constantly building, stitching, weaving, and constructing things. It seems fundamental to being human. But we don’t just construct physical objects — we also construct identities, beliefs, mental systems, and even our sense of reality itself. 

We need to think of these things as solid, dependable, even eternal, but the truth is, they are all constructs, and they can unravel at any time.

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​So, I started to play with the idea of a doily coming undone.

At the same time, I was beginning my cyanotype experiments, and an unraveling doily became the first thing I exposed.​

​It went from there.

Self Portrait with Undone Doily, 12x9 cyanotype and white gel pen on paper

​People who saw these remarked it looked like a sea-creature, which inspired me further.
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I learned several doily patterns with a spiral element.

I madly crocheted long, trailing tassels and prepared a long piece of paper with cyanotype solution.

The mad, un-spiraling doily.

Hanging the cyanotype up to dry, along with other cyanotypes

Exposing the doily on paper coated with cyanotype solution

Rinsing the cyanotype solution off in the tub

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The Result!

Long, Un-spiraling Doily 14x40 cyanotype on paper

​I’ve done multiple versions, and some of them I am quite pleased with.

Small Spiral Doily 12x9 cyanotype on paper

​I’ve gone onto doing more spiral doilies, which I will be sure to share with you soon.

But this goes to show how goofing off and playing around can result in much larger, deeper works.
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I guess I’ve finally learned how essential play is.